Why Asian American’s don’t go to Therapy: An Asian American Therapist’s Perspective

"Why should I see a therapist?"

"Therapy is for crazy people."
You are not alone if you are Asian American and have heard or perhaps said these when talking about therapy. Asian Americans have significant barriers to approaching mental health, which, unfortunately, are not adequately addressed by therapists who are culturally competent and willing to understand these barriers.

As an Asian American Therapist, I’ll go over a variety of factors why there are cultural barriers for asian americans when it comes to therapy.

While there are many personal reasons why Asian Americans choose not to go to therapy, a few cultural factors can play into it. Here are three reasons why Asian Americans don't go to therapy. 

Asian Americans Need to Save Face

"I don't want to be seen as having a problem."

"I don't want my family to think that I am crazy."

Saving face is the desire to avoid embarrassment due to being perceived as having a problem. Often having mental health problems means something wrong, and it can cause embarrassment with family and friends. It is better to ignore or hide the problems in shame rather than potentially seeking help. Even with the safety of confidentiality in therapy, the fear of being found out can prevent you from seeing a therapist.

Most of this stems from the stigma that is real in the Asian American community and culture. The lack of understanding of mental health often creates a barrier if you want to seek help. 

But the truth is that seeking help does not mean you are crazy. Coming to therapy to have a space to talk and process your feelings is normal and healthy. 

Asian American Therapy: Prioritizing Family as a Support

"Why should I pay someone to talk to me when I have my family?"

Paying to talk to someone can sound foreign, especially when you have your family to who you can vent and process your feelings. But it can also be unhelpful if the same family you rely on support for is also the source of pain and hurt. 

But let's be honest, the family can be hurtful. It can be a source of pain that doesn't help you become a better person. 

Therapy allows you to have a different perspective outside of your family and can help you understand yourself. And your therapist, while you pay them, is also there to be on your aside has no hidden motives or objectives other than to ensure that you are getting what you need. 

Culturally, Asians value family and see it as a source of support, and having help outside of the family can be seen as taboo. That is understandable, but as outlined, it can also prevent you from seeking help when the family is no longer supportive or when you need to distance yourself from them. 

Another taboo is talking about family outside of the family. You may see it as "dishonoring your family," and often, many AAPI clients feel the same about going to therapy. And this makes it difficult for Asian Americans to see a therapist because they don't want to talk bad about their family to an outsider. 

The inability to unpack this by therapists who aren't culturally competent creates a barrier for other Asian Americans who may want to seek therapy. 

Lack of Cultural Competence by non-Asian American Therapists.

"I don't want someone who will not understand me."

"Most therapists I see are white and don't get me."

One of the sad truths about therapy is the lack of cultural competency, even by well-meaning therapists. It's common to hear therapists simply telling clients to leave their families or " just stand up to them" without acknowledging or recognizing the cultural elements of family in AAPI culture. Or therapists fail to grasp the magnitude of racism in Asian American heritage.

Sadly many non-Asian therapists avoid culture in their practice and focus more on the individualistic aspects in therapy. This avoidance of culture and how it plays into your psyche can be difficult and unhelpful. Even worst, your therapist may even demonize your culture and not respect it at all.  

Get Quality Culturally Affirming Therapy for Asian Americans

Hopefully, this sad reality will change, with more Asian American therapists entering the field and issues that Asian Americans face becoming more well-known. If you want a therapist that understands your culture, search for an Asian American therapist. Website directories such as Asian Mental Health Collective has a list of potential therapists near you. 

You deserve a therapist that understands your culture, acknowledges it, and affirms it. 

Interested in Getting Started with your Therapy Journey?

About Alex Ly, Asian Therapist for the Bay Area

Alex Ly, LMFT, is your go-to therapist in the Fremont and broader Bay Area, specializing in trauma therapy with a unique understanding of diverse cultural backgrounds. As an Asian therapist, Alex brings a culturally sensitive approach to his practice, making him a trusted choice for individuals seeking someone who understands the nuances of Asian-American experiences and beyond. Whether you're navigating personal challenges or complex trauma, Alex’s approach is all about creating a safe space where you can feel understood and supported.

With a knack for connecting with his clients in a relaxed and understanding manner, Alex focuses on effective, personalized therapy solutions. He’s not just a trauma therapist; he’s someone who believes in empowering his clients to discover their strength and resilience through guided self-exploration and evidence-based practices. If you’re looking for a therapist who will really get where you're coming from and help you move forward, Alex Ly is your therapist in the Bay Area.